When the Columbus Blue Jackets announced that Artemi Panarin would miss Tuesday night's game against the Montreal Canadiens due to an undisclosed "illness," many questioned whether the team was holding the star out of action to protect his trade value. After all, Panarin is one of the most desirable names available on the market as we approach next week's deadline.
However, Blue Jackets coach John Tortorella was irked by this speculation and wanted to clear things up prior to the game. Always a straight shooter, Tortorella provided a very, uh, descriptive assessment of Panarin's status.
"He's sick as a dog. That's why he's out," said Tortorella. "He s--t his pants. He was puking. Enough."
Oh, okay then.
Possibly the only thing worse than being sick to the point where you're pooping your pants is your boss then turning around and telling the public that you're pooping your pants, so condolences to Panarin on what sounds like a very difficult day. But if that was a made-up excuse to preserve Panarin's trade value, points to Tortorella and the Blue Jackets for at least giving us all an entertaining story to work with.
The 27-year-old Panarin has been one of the most frequently discussed names on the trade market this year due to his expiring contract and his desire to hit the open market this summer. The Russian winger is the Blue Jackets' leading scorer this season and is one of their most important pieces, so it'll be interesting to see if they ultimately hold onto him for a potential playoff run this spring.
In any case, he's clearly an explosive two-way performer, even when he's not in the lineup.
